In class we talked about the performative nature of the men inside the house welcoming the adolescent into the adult and masculine process of grieving, signaled by shaking his hand and saying that they were “sorry for my trouble.” While this in and of itself is a pivotal moment in the youth’s life, as he is accepted into the performative ritual o being a man. It would seem that he has no choice in this matter, as we all inevitably grow old and must come to accept it. We didn’t focus on the speaker’s father in class and I think that he adds a really important dimension to the speakers concept of masculinity in the poem. When the adolescent arrives home for the funeral, “In the porch I met my father crying.” I think this is important because as an adolescent the speaker is still trying to figure out what is is to be a man, and his father is giving him an alternative option to the performative alternative going on inside the house. It is also important that his father is essentially on the outside as he is displaying his emotions and breaking the ‘code’ of masculinity, therefore he is not a part of the inclusive masculine community on the inside of the house. This scenario creates a disconnect with the speaker’s father that has been seen previously in other poems. Perhaps this lack of leadership on how to react in a time of tragedy in a masculine fashion and leaving the adolescent boy to learn from other men how to perform is a reason for this apparent disconnect between the speaker and his father.